You’ve probably gone through a time when you became preoccupied with thinking about how others are thinking about you.
When that happens, many of us don’t realize how decision-making is affected. Adaptive behaviors show up while trying to project or protect reputation, and making decisions are made through a couple of simple filters: “I’m okay” and “I’m not okay”.
I’m not okay.
When you feel fear, grief or apathy you’ll notice yourself making decisions with reluctance, or you’ll flip-flop a decision later. When negative thoughts and feelings are flowing (“I’m not okay”), it is difficult to arrive at any decision. (In our work, we call this Level 1.)
When you feel desire, anger, or pride to prove your worth, your decision-making will tend to be self-serving. With compulsive or impulsive action, this “go-getter” energy is mixed with positive and negative thoughts, ideas, and feelings. In this state, you will be getting further than you were with fear and apathy, but the opinions of others will still plague you and you’ll find yourself questioning (or even baffled by) the outcome of your choices. (We call this Level 2.)
When you feel peace––a result love and acceptance––your decision-making will be optimal. You’ll get into flow for best solutions and won’t be hindered by how you’re perceived. Your decisions will be made from a solid place of courage. Your intuition will guide you, and you’ll trust it. (We call it level 5/6.)
In this place, the mind is free from worry and the ability to concentrate and communicate is open.
So how are you?
The fastest way to instill the “I’m okay” message of love and acceptance is to eliminate any fear, apathy, anger, and pride within yourself so you are making decisions and communicating from peace of mind.
- Every chance you get, love and accept the moment. We suffer from memory (the past) and imagination (“what if-ing” the future), so surrendering to the moment often brings peace.
- As soon as you notice boggy emotion, let it go to gain access to the courage and acceptance already present.
Focusing on reputation––the fear of protecting it or the desire to project it––will become unnecessary when you ground yourself in the love and respect you have for yourself.
Reflect: How much time do you spend thinking about what other people might think? How does it work for you? How does it get in your way?
Rachel is a certified coach with a Masters Degree in Counseling. Leading people to greater mental, emotional, and spiritual awareness is her passion. Learn more here. Email Rachel or drop a note in the comments. Visit our INspired Leadership team website. Join our Facebook Community. Follow Rachel’s Twitter and INspired Leaderhip’s Twitter. Let’s network together on LinkedIn.