5 Ways Marriage can Affect all Your Relationships

This month marks 13 years of marriage for my husband and me. Oh, and I think it’s important to point out we’re not soul mates.

My mom told me once “the one” was not out there somewhere. “There are lots of people we’re compatible with, and we get to decide which one we want to spend the rest of our life with,” she said.

Her short quip grounded me that searching for someone outside myself to share a you-complete-me-Jerry-McGuire-moment would just keep me looking for my other half.

And I want to be whole. (more…)

Trying to Save the World can be Exhausting

I used to compromise my time, energy and emotional wellbeing on anyone in my world who vocalized they were in need. I feel deeply. I want to understand others. And I believed I could be the answer, or at the very least provide the answer, for everyone who needed saving.

Thankfully I quit.

At first it felt selfish to not take on the burdens of others and self-preserve, but over time I’ve learned that for the benefit of myself and those I do life with, it’s essential to create a win-win or just step away from the game. (more…)

Do You Have the Most Important Communication Skill?

What is the last thing your loving and compassionate inner voice has spoken to you?

What? Wait. You mean there’s an inner voice that does more than point out all the ways I’m not stacking up?

That’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s very loving, in fact. It doesn’t say things to produce counterfeit confidence to puff us up to project an image, and it doesn’t say things that are harsh either.

Hearing your loving and compassionate inner voice is an essential practice for developing one of the most important communication skills: LISTENING. (more…)

3 Crucial Steps for Increasing Empathy

You can’t fake compassion.

I mean, you can, but people feel it when you do. Disingenuous concern comes across as canned.

If meaningful connection and communication are to happen, empathy and compassion have to be real. “Me” and “You” become “We” and “Us”.

In his book Mindsight, Dr Siegel states that “feeling felt” is essential early in life as children gain insight into the vast inner sea inside them, but throughout life we continue to need such connections for a sense of vitality and wellbeing.

Vitality and wellbeing come with deep connections.

In a deeply divisive world today, bringing human beings closer to one another is vital.

There are crucial steps to increasing empathy. (more…)