We can’t tell each other how to feel. It doesn’t work. It’s never worked. In fact, saying, “don’t feel that way” feels about as equally as harsh as a slap in the face.
Emotions feel legit.
But when your brain has been hijacked by the amygdala – a small center in your limbic system in charge of emotion – it’s time to get smart. When that tiny almond sized part of the brain is in control, energetic intelligence is no longer present.
You can recognize when energetic intelligence is lacking by knee-jerk reactions, feeling out-of-the-mind fury, or responding out of highly-charged emotion rather than logic.
Maybe you’ve seen a few of these posts on social media? Maybe you’ve posted some yourself… (more…)
Do you ever find yourself resisting to a lot of what is happening around you?
Resistance to what is happening can show up as complaining. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re complaining, it’s just a conditioned response to things around us – maybe even things we can’t control like weather or traffic.
Your responses are up to you. If you want to complain, you’ll find reasons to complain. If you want to express joy, you’ll find reasons for that, too! (more…)
Twenty-five years ago, lifeguard certification required treading water for two minutes without the use of hands. I’m not sure if holding a brick while treading was a Red Cross requirement, but to the instructor I had, it was.
Along with treading with the brick, we also
submerged 12 feet to retrieve the brick from the bottom of the pool, bring it to the surface, and swim it safely to the side under 1 minute 40 seconds.
To a 15 year old at the time, the Lifeguard Brick Test was a thrilling challenge. To a more aged woman now, a brick in water is dead weight.
Metaphorically, many of us are carrying bricks, barely keeping our heads above water. We are kicking hard, exerting energy to keep this brick in our grasp. We’ve got to pass the test. We’ve got to prove we can do it all. But, damn, that brick is heavy. (more…)
In a 75 year study, the longest study on happiness currently led by Robert Waldinger, the bottom line that keeps us happiest and healthiest the longest is this: good relationships.
The study began with men in their teens and lasted into their 80s and extended beyond to their families. By age 50, those who were most satisfied in their relationships were the healthiest by age 80. Cholesterol levels weren’t the determining factor. Wealth was not the determining factor. Nor was fame or working harder.
The bottom line? Mutually secure relationships.
It’s not the number of friendships that are linked to happiness; it’s the quality of the close relationships that matter.