How to Innocently get in Your Own Way

Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!

In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!

However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)

When You Feel as if You’ve Lost Your Way

I’m experiencing a pervasive inadequacy. This was the second line I wrote in an SOS email to a friend.

Are professionals supposed to confess stuff like this on a public blog? It’s risky, my ego tells me, but I feel I’m also risking something more dangerous if I don’t­–a belief that when looking at the life of someone else, it always appears good, or at the very least, somehow better than yours. (more…)

You Don’t See Babies in Therapy

Before humans think things about themselves – before we’re self conscious – we’re just conscious. In that state, all is well. There’s no separation being created through our stories and interpretations of events. Instinct and intuition guide and direct.

Think of babies. All is well until it’s not, and they make it known. This isn’t done not by conscious thought but by instinct, and they tell without words. (more…)

Why your emotional Facebook posts are hurting you

images-2We can’t tell each other how to feel. It doesn’t work. It’s never worked. In fact, saying, “don’t feel that way” feels about as equally as harsh as a slap in the face.

Emotions feel legit.

But when your brain has been hijacked by the amygdala – a small center in your limbic system in charge of emotion – it’s time to get smart. When that tiny almond sized part of the brain is in control, energetic intelligence is no longer present.

You can recognize when energetic intelligence is lacking by knee-jerk reactions, feeling out-of-the-mind fury, or responding out of highly-charged emotion rather than logic.

Maybe you’ve seen a few of these posts on social media? Maybe you’ve posted some yourself… (more…)