Relationships require freedom to ebb and flow, and the best relationships have partners who know when being too positive will jam up the flow.
“How can being positive ruin anything?” you might be wondering.
If there’s too much positivity, without empathy, it can come across insensitive with an unwillingness to genuinely care. In the presence of empathy––according to Brene´ Brown––painful feelings don’t have a chance to survive.
So what does toxic positivity sound like? (more…)
You’ve probably gone through a time when you became preoccupied with thinking about how others are thinking about you.
When that happens, many of us don’t realize how decision-making is affected. Adaptive behaviors show up while trying to project or protect reputation, and making decisions are made through a couple of simple filters: “I’m okay” and “I’m not okay”.
Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.
Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.
But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)
Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.
The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together. (more…)
Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!
In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!
However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)