“How do I not feel jealous or upset when others are succeeding?”

Sometimes I get emails with great questions! I thought I’d share a recent one.

(Side note: We teach 7 Levels of Energy Leadership. It’s a way for organizations to have containers and common language for what they’re experiencing as individuals and as a culture. Using “level 2, 5, and 6” in the following email exchange is a reference to those 7 Levels).

Dear Rachel,

How do you get to that level (6?) of win-win? Meaning how do you not feel jealous or upset when others are succeeding?

Thanks, Cat (more…)

How to Ruin a Relationship with Toxic Positivity

How to Ruin a Relationship with Toxic Positivity

Relationships require freedom to ebb and flow, and the best relationships have partners who know when being too positive will jam up the flow.

“How can being positive ruin anything?” you might be wondering.

If there’s too much positivity, without empathy, it can come across insensitive with an unwillingness to genuinely care. In the presence of empathy––according to Brene´ Brown––painful feelings don’t have a chance to survive.

So what does toxic positivity sound like? (more…)

Thinking too much About What People are Thinking affects Decision-Making

You’ve probably gone through a time when you became preoccupied with thinking about how others are thinking about you.

When that happens, many of us don’t realize how decision-making is affected. Adaptive behaviors show up while trying to project or protect reputation, and making decisions are made through a couple of simple filters: “I’m okay” and “I’m not okay”.

(more…)

Handling Emotional Crises during the Holidays








Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.

Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.

But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)

Emotion in the Workplace: How to Talk & When to Balk








Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.

The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together. (more…)