Relationships require freedom to ebb and flow, and the best relationships have partners who know when being too positive will jam up the flow.
“How can being positive ruin anything?” you might be wondering.
If there’s too much positivity, without empathy, it can come across insensitive with an unwillingness to genuinely care. In the presence of empathy––according to Brene´ Brown––painful feelings don’t have a chance to survive.
I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.
The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.
What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.
Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.
I mean, you can, but people feel it when you do. Disingenuous concern comes across as canned.
If meaningful connection and communication are to happen, empathy and compassion have to be real. “Me” and “You” become “We” and “Us”.
In his book Mindsight, Dr Siegel states that “feeling felt” is essential early in life as children gain insight into the vast inner sea inside them, but throughout life we continue to need such connections for a sense of vitality and wellbeing.
Vitality and wellbeing come with deep connections.
In a deeply divisive world today, bringing human beings closer to one another is vital.
There are crucial steps to increasing empathy. (more…)