I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.
The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.
What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.
Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.
Here’s why… (more…)
What is the last thing your loving and compassionate inner voice has spoken to you?
What? Wait. You mean there’s an inner voice that does more than point out all the ways I’m not stacking up?
That’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s very loving, in fact. It doesn’t say things to produce counterfeit confidence to puff us up to project an image, and it doesn’t say things that are harsh either.
Hearing your loving and compassionate inner voice is an essential practice for developing one of the most important communication skills: LISTENING. (more…)
You can’t fake compassion.
I mean, you can, but people feel it when you do. Disingenuous concern comes across as canned.
If meaningful connection and communication are to happen, empathy and compassion have to be real. “Me” and “You” become “We” and “Us”.
In his book Mindsight, Dr Siegel states that “feeling felt” is essential early in life as children gain insight into the vast inner sea inside them, but throughout life we continue to need such connections for a sense of vitality and wellbeing.
Vitality and wellbeing come with deep connections.
In a deeply divisive world today, bringing human beings closer to one another is vital.
There are crucial steps to increasing empathy. (more…)
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve seen it – the social media posts with blatant disgust or constant complaints. Or you’ve heard it – the blame and criticism and vile commentary towards others.
I read three consecutive posts today from one individual hating where she was, then expressing the “worst flight ever. And the odor of the fatties in front of her…” to then calling “everyone” on her return to “paradise” as “rude as ________”. (Fill in the blank, it starts with an f.)
It’s justified though right? Two wrong always make a right, right? When you feel it, freedom of speech gives you the RIGHT to say it, right? (more…)
“You’d have popular hair in the 80s.”
These seven words were an instant trigger when my husband said them after I’d let my hair go all nat-u-ral one morning.
For 30 years I’ve fought my naturally curly hair with straightening shampoos, gobs of hair product, and a flat iron. To say the least, I prefer anti big hair.
“That was a back-handed thing to say,” I said.
Naturally I was talking out of 30 years of non-acceptance for my DNA, and at the same time he was talking out of 30 years of speaking with metaphor rather than just saying what he really meant. (more…)