How does Conditioned Communication affect your Relationships?

seal-326159_960_720 “You’d have popular hair in the 80s.”

These seven words were an instant trigger when my husband said them after I’d let my hair go all nat-u-ral one morning.

For 30 years I’ve fought my naturally curly hair with straightening shampoos, gobs of hair product, and a flat iron. To say the least, I prefer anti big hair.

“That was a back-handed thing to say,” I said.

Naturally I was talking out of 30 years of non-acceptance for my DNA, and at the same time he was talking out of 30 years of speaking with metaphor rather than just saying what he really meant. (more…)

What is your gift? Quit keeping it to yourself!

imgresBeing able to strategically place a curse word is a gift. Too many, and they lose their punch. Too few, and an opportunity is missed to create an effective point.

Putting words together to create different sentence structures, like this complex one you’re reading right now, is a talent. It excites me to break up thoughts using hyphens for emphasis – like this. And it’s meaningful for me to use punctuation to create pause. Stop. Just exist. Take it in. Slow down. (Like that.)

If words were those plastic balls that fill pits for little kids to jump in, I’d flop right in and waller all around in those things. (more…)