You’re watching it happen––your tween is spending more time with friends, which means you’re losing time and attention to influence and mold your mini-me for their best interest.
Breath easy, mom and dad, you’re still making an impact on your adolescent, but it will take some conscious parenting on your part to keep the door of healthy communication open between the two you.
All in the name of love, parents can slip into two modes of communicating with kids that end up putting a wedge in the relationship.
Here are two roles to watch out for when communicating with your children:
Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.
The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together. (more…)
Last week I flew to the west coast to attend a Marine graduation. Before that occasion, I knew little to nothing about the military. You know when you read something but your eyes just skim without making a connection?
From now on, the word Marine will forever stop me in my tracks.
What I learned about honor, courage, and commitment in two days made me hold my own shoulders back, put my chest out a bit, and walk taller. We could all learn from these Leather Necks. These Devil Dogs. These Marines with a capital M. (more…)
Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!
In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!
However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)
When asked how he carved his infamous statue of David, Michelangelo replied, “I just chipped away what wasn’t David.”
In the business of personal coaching, group coaching, and culture audits, our goal is similar: to help individuals and groups chip away what gets in the way of inherent possibility.
“There was time before you felt (insert limiting belief here),” I tell clients. “The You from that time is still inside.”
Then we proceed with the process of chipping marble–of chipping thinking, feeling, and doing. (more…)
I’m experiencing a pervasive inadequacy. This was the second line I wrote in an SOS email to a friend.
Are professionals supposed to confess stuff like this on a public blog? It’s risky, my ego tells me, but I feel I’m also risking something more dangerous if I don’t–a belief that when looking at the life of someone else, it always appears good, or at the very least, somehow better than yours. (more…)
Because I coach virtually from home, I hang a sign outside my office door to inform my family what time I’ll be out of a call. If it’s an emergency, they know to come in.
Recently, during a debrief with a new client, about 40 minutes into the call my son had an emergency. (more…)
For the past several months, I’ve been working with a guy who “reconsolidates memories.” He explained to me that over the course of our lives our experiences become memories with emotion attached. Some emotions feel good and some don’t.
Because of these experiences (turned memories), you and I come to accept a set of beliefs. Some beliefs are freeing, and some beliefs are limiting. (more…)