“Get out of your comfort zone!” they say. “It’s where the
magic happens!” they say.
What “they” also fail to say is to expect feelings of dread, profuse sweat, loss of sleep at night, over or under prepping, and second-guess yourself…even days after you’ve penetrated those comfort zone walls.
You’ve probably gone through a time when you became preoccupied with thinking about how others are thinking about you.
When that happens, many of us don’t realize how decision-making is affected. Adaptive behaviors show up while trying to project or protect reputation, and making decisions are made through a couple of simple filters: “I’m okay” and “I’m not okay”.
Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.
Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.
But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)
You’re watching it happen––your tween is spending more time with friends, which means you’re losing time and attention to influence and mold your mini-me for their best interest.
Breath easy, mom and dad, you’re still making an impact on your adolescent, but it will take some conscious parenting on your part to keep the door of healthy communication open between the two you.
All in the name of love, parents can slip into two modes of communicating with kids that end up putting a wedge in the relationship.
Here are two roles to watch out for when communicating with your children:
Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.
The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together. (more…)
Last week I flew to the west coast to attend a Marine graduation. Before that occasion, I knew little to nothing about the military. You know when you read something but your eyes just skim without making a connection?
From now on, the word Marine will forever stop me in my tracks.
What I learned about honor, courage, and commitment in two days made me hold my own shoulders back, put my chest out a bit, and walk taller. We could all learn from these Leather Necks. These Devil Dogs. These Marines with a capital M. (more…)
Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!
In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!
However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)
When asked how he carved his infamous statue of David, Michelangelo replied, “I just chipped away what wasn’t David.”
In the business of personal coaching, group coaching, and culture audits, our goal is similar: to help individuals and groups chip away what gets in the way of inherent possibility.
“There was time before you felt (insert limiting belief here),” I tell clients. “The You from that time is still inside.”
Then we proceed with the process of chipping marble–of chipping thinking, feeling, and doing. (more…)