Sometimes I get emails with great questions! I thought I’d share a recent one.
(Side note: We teach 7 Levels of Energy Leadership. It’s a way for organizations to have containers and common language for what they’re experiencing as individuals and as a culture. Using “level 2, 5, and 6” in the following email exchange is a reference to those 7 Levels).
How do you get to that level (6?) of win-win? Meaning how do you not feel jealous or upset when others are succeeding?
Feeling jealous is level 2––we’re seeing someone else as having something we don’t. There might even be an underlying feeling of competition.
To begin to shift, think: Her “win” isn’t my loss.
Remember, from level six we know that “everyone always wins.” So a “win” for one of us is a win for all of us.
Level 5 is win-win. That’s when we’re empowering someone.
Three practical steps when jealousy is involved:
- Get objective.
Think, what is the jealousy teaching me? What do you really want, Cat? Why?
Without judging the feeling of jealousy, use it to direct you back to your true self. Catabolic emotion is just saying, “Hey! You’re not aligned to who you truly are! Remember your true identity!”
2. Find a win-win.
Find something you really love about the person and/or their “success” and see the big picture impact. (Then tell them if you want. That’s a “win” for them (encouragement) and a “win” for you (freedom)).
3. Explore your personal belief.
As yourself: “What is my definition of success?” When it comes down to the core of your belief, you’re likely to discover gratitude for who you ARE versus focusing on what you’re not.
Love you Cat! Not sure if you’re asking for yourself or something else, but I’ve been honored to have glimpses into your heart this year. It’s so lovely.
Reflect: How does competition motivate you? How does it get in your way?
Reflect deeper: What is your true identity? If you could apply the concept that “everyone always wins,” what would be different for you?
Rachel is a Certified Coach with a Masters Degree in Counseling. She coaches professionals through important decisions so their minds are clear to move forward in life and in business. Learn more here
Got a question? Ask! Email Rachel or drop a note in the comments.