I wasn’t that great. You’re just being nice.
I coach many people who cannot take a compliment. They feel discomfort, or somehow think they don’t deserve it. “Oh, it’s not me,” they’ll say. However, if something has gone wrong, they’ll be the first one to speak up and say, “It was me! ME!” (Or at least it must’ve been, right?)
There are two problems with this conditioned low self-regard.
- First, it doesn’t allow the giver of affirmation to give their gift of appreciation.
- Second, it doesn’t give you a chance to decide what’s really true.
Receiving a Gift
I accept that from you. Those are the five words the title challenges you to know. Saying these five words without deflecting compliments makes the affirmation about the honesty of the giver. In other words, “Thank you.” Thank you for your generosity, for noticing, for making it a point to give kind regard.
I accept that from you.
Being open to receiving compliments is the first step, accepting it is the second.
Is it True?
Now, after the quick deflection is gone, a space for considering what’s true shows up!
I do not accept that from you. This doesn’t have to be verbalized (but it can!). This gives you power to accept compliments and criticism, or not accept both!
This practice empowers humble folks who are rocked back and forth by opinions of others.
When neither affirmation nor criticism impacts us without our consent, we can kindly accept it or not accept it. It’s either a gift we receive from the giver, or we choose not to receive it into our heart and mind.
Put it into Practice: Instead of brushing off, disregarding or ignoring compliments, accept the gift. Even say I accept that from you. With criticism, decide if it’s true or not, and then do or do not accept it. It’s up to you!
Rachel is a Certified Coach with a Masters Degree in Counseling. Leading people toward mental, emotional, and spiritual awareness is her passion. Learn more here. Email Rachel or drop a note in the comments. Visit our INspired Leadership team website. Join our Facebook Community. Follow Rachel’s Twitter and INspired Leaderhip’s Twitter. Let’s network together on LinkedIn.