In a recent interview I did with Stacy Feil, ICFH president, I shared that there were many things in my life that I actively pursued. While coaching wasn’t one of them, it was exactly where I wanted to be but didn’t know it.
Coaching pursued me.
In this case, I found my way, but I wasn’t pursuing it. These are the most meaningful types of connections, in my opinion, and like J.R.R. Tolkin said, “Not all who wander are lost.”
Making a move, on the other hand, is being the one who is doing the pursuing, like a degree, a mate, or an outcome.
One thing that’s helpful in getting clarity whether you’re finding your way or making your move, is to reflect through big questions. When processing through questions, any that don’t feel settled or absolute will continue to hang out in your subconscious as unfinished business, and your mind will still work on answering them.
This process opens you up to possibilities.
Asking big questions, invites unique answers. Here are five to consider.
1. Goals: What are my external and internal goals?
Choose external as well as internal goals. For the last two years, my top goal was internal: “Ask for forgiveness” was last year, and this year was “Do everything without arguing or complaining.” Then I added 4-5 external goals I wanted to keep at the top of mind.
2. Vision: Where do I want to go with my work and my life?
Consider your big vision. When you number your days, your wisdom increases. Getting a clear idea of what the future holds for your work and your life sets your purpose in place.
3. Values: What’s really important to me?
When you can name what really matters, you can align your choices to match. Is it efficiency, beauty, family, success, altruism, fun? Knowing what connects with you at the core is essential to finding your way…or making a move that aligns to what will add meaning and value to your life.
4. Strengths: What am I naturally good at doing?
Often we undervalue who we are and overvalue who we think we’re not. We’ll work and strive and spent time, money, and sweat to be so well rounded when we could’ve just maximized our inherent talent. Make a list of what comes easy for you. (Try this 10-minute SparkType assessment for insight.)
5. Blind Spots: Where do my blind spots lie?
If you don’t know, ask a trusted confidant. Knowing this can help you wander less when you’re finding your way, or you can help yourself anticipate what may get in your way when you’re ready to make your move.
Reflect: Today, which camp do I feel more like I’m in: finding my way, or making my move?
Journal: I feel most aligned in my life when…
Rachel is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) through International Coaching Federation (ICF) for INspired Leadership at ESSDACK. She helps professionals master self-leadership. She holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling, holds her two children close to her heart, and believes everyone holds their own keys to success. Contact her here.
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