For a person conditioned to be humble, accepting praise is uncomfortable. It’s met with downward looks, fidgety hands or feet, and a quick change of subject.
I wasn’t that great. You’re just being nice.
I coach many people who cannot take a compliment. They feel discomfort, or somehow think they don’t deserve it. “Oh, it’s not me,” they’ll say. However, if something has gone wrong, they’ll be the first one to speak up and say, “It was me! ME!” (Or at least it must’ve been, right?) (more…)
Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.
Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.
But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)
I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.
The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.
What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.
Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.
Here’s why… (more…)
People talk at 125-225 words per minute on average and can think 4x faster.
That means roughly having 500-900 thoughts per minute. So in one hour, the average person would have about 30,000-60,000 internal thoughts.
If you like the math, in just an 8-hour workday that’s about 240,000-480,000 thoughts. All in your head. And that’s not including the ones that you actually turn into audible words or the ones that occur during the rest of your waking moments.
But have you ever really stopped to think about what you’re thinking about?
With increasing ability to catch wind of injustice around the world today, fear and anger are sweeping the nation.
While people grapple and cope, unhealthy ways to do so are surfacing.
When a colleague gets credit for your idea, how do you respond? When your spouse spends more time with a hobby or television than with the family, how do you respond? When innocent people are hurt, how do you respond?
Knowing how we respond to one thing is a conscious glimpse in how likely we respond to all things.
Here are three unhealthy habits followed by three healthy alternatives: (more…)
I heard a guy give a testimony once about how he was very vanilla – meaning he didn’t have a major life event he overcame or an inspiring testimony of total transformation. He was just a guy who went through life paying attention.
I connected with his message.
I’ve spent a lot of life just paying attention.
Because of that attention, I found myself naturally leading people to the quiet place beside still waters because I was not in perpetual motion.
As a leadership coach, my biggest asset is the ability to listen, acknowledge and understand what’s being (and not being) said, and reflect back how that impacts a leader and those he or she leads.
The less distraction I experience from my own thoughts, the more effective I become. Thus, the impact my clients experience is greater – 9 times out of 10 calling our work together “life-changing”. (more…)