Emotion in the Workplace: How to Talk & When to Balk

Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.

The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together. (more…)

The Awkward Stage Between Birth and Death

Humanity takes stiff-legged wobbly steps in the form of fleshy bodies and falls, scrapes its knees, gets back up, and keeps exploring.

Nobody has life figured out.

The most influential leaders in history were closest as they pointed in the direction of love, compassion and forgiveness and opened the eyes of humanity to the dignity of one other.

But as soon as they draw us closer together, we pull ourselves apart. (more…)

You Don’t See Babies in Therapy

Before humans think things about themselves – before we’re self conscious – we’re just conscious. In that state, all is well. There’s no separation being created through our stories and interpretations of events. Instinct and intuition guide and direct.

Think of babies. All is well until it’s not, and they make it known. This isn’t done not by conscious thought but by instinct, and they tell without words. (more…)

What if “Adverse Childhood Experience” doesn’t fit?

Schools have been actively engaging in the conversation about the effects of trauma in childhood, and now Oprah is informing the nation. Awareness is rising. I’m thankful.

However, the thought that keeps creeping in my mind over the past couple of months has been what about the people who don’t meet the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experience) criteria but still feel depressed or anxious?

What happened to them? If a childhood was “normal” and needs were easily met, why are they hurting? (more…)

Insecurity and Confidence

“I feel badly, so something needs to change.” Feeling undesirable emotion like insecurity, fear, or anger leads to this common misunderstanding that creates havoc.

In an effort to feel better, blame surfaces. There is a problem “out there” that needs changed. It is the fault of my spouse, my kids, that system, my boss, the weather, myself…

Now there are problems to be solved and issues to be fixed. (more…)