Social media can be a breeding ground for drama, creating hurt, anger, and divisive conflict in relationships. Stephen Karpman, in his drama triangle, defines three actors in drama that breed destructive communication habits.
In the simplest form:
There are oppressors, or persecutors: “You idiots. You are to blame. I know more than you.”
There are rescuers: “Here, let me help you. I know what’s best for you.”
And there are victims: “Life is hard. This isn’t fair.” (complaining or venting)
The dynamics of this triangle create relationships that develop codependency (you know what’s right for me), compliance (sure, whatever you say), or resistance (get out of my face!).
When these actors in the drama show up, problems are perpetuated instead of solved.
To stay out of social media drama, consider these four tips: (more…)
Sometimes I get emails with great questions! I thought I’d share a recent one.
(Side note: We teach 7 Levels of Energy Leadership. It’s a way for organizations to have containers and common language for what they’re experiencing as individuals and as a culture. Using “level 2, 5, and 6” in the following email exchange is a reference to those 7 Levels).
How do you get to that level (6?) of win-win? Meaning how do you not feel jealous or upset when others are succeeding?
Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.
The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together.(more…)