Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!
In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!
However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)
I’m experiencing a pervasive inadequacy. This was the second line I wrote in an SOS email to a friend.
Are professionals supposed to confess stuff like this on a public blog? It’s risky, my ego tells me, but I feel I’m also risking something more dangerous if I don’t–a belief that when looking at the life of someone else, it always appears good, or at the very least, somehow better than yours. (more…)
Because I coach virtually from home, I hang a sign outside my office door to inform my family what time I’ll be out of a call. If it’s an emergency, they know to come in.
Recently, during a debrief with a new client, about 40 minutes into the call my son had an emergency. (more…)
I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.
The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.
What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.
Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.
Here’s why… (more…)
Clinging to what is good and resisting what is bad is a guaranteed rollercoaster ride.
Trying to control people or circumstances to feel secure leads to more insecurity because confidence is not an external matter. As counterintuitive as it may seem, relinquishing the need for control unveils confidence.
Consider this: (more…)
The pursuit of happiness creates continual strife to secure it.
Many try to secure the emotion by purchasing items, getting into new relationships, altering the body, or striving for affirmation and accolades.
If one of these behaviors finally secured happiness, what was lost would be found forever and nothing would spur the pursuit again.
But this is not the case.