Social media can be a breeding ground for drama, creating hurt, anger, and divisive conflict in relationships. Stephen Karpman, in his drama triangle, defines three actors in drama that breed destructive communication habits.
In the simplest form:
There are oppressors, or persecutors: “You idiots. You are to blame. I know more than you.”
There are rescuers: “Here, let me help you. I know what’s best for you.”
And there are victims: “Life is hard. This isn’t fair.” (complaining or venting)
The dynamics of this triangle create relationships that develop codependency (you know what’s right for me), compliance (sure, whatever you say), or resistance (get out of my face!).
When these actors in the drama show up, problems are perpetuated instead of solved.
To stay out of social media drama, consider these four tips: (more…)
After 18 years, my sister-in-law walked out of her drug-testing-athletes career forever. She along with others were terminated. No sports. No job.
Although she’s been jobless for three months, her attitude and outlook have been remarkable.
It donned on me that with a practical plan and action steps, a person doesn’t have to be a victim of their circumstances.
I’m veering away from my typical blogs posts to share this example of being “at the effect of life” but choosing not to set up camp there. Tension and stress are rising in the world, and feeling strapped for money adds to it. Here are three practical ways to use straps––the ole bootstraps––to move forward. (more…)
2020 is a year begging for meaning––for using fresh eyes, with clear vision, to discern how and where to intentionally spend energy.
Having 20/20 vision means normal visual acuity, or sharpness of vision. It’s not superhuman vision like Superman who can look through walls, it’s simply seeing with clarity and in focus what is right there in front of you.
Sharpening our vision.
A simple way proven by neuroscience to achieve clarity (if that’s your goal) is to write it down. Neuroscience explains how the brain generates and reprocesses images when writing, so you’re 1.2 – 1.4 times more likely to achieve something than the next guy who hasn’t written it down. So if there’s one thing we can take away from Santa’s year-end practices, it’s list-making. (more…)
Sometimes I get emails with great questions! I thought I’d share a recent one.
(Side note: We teach 7 Levels of Energy Leadership. It’s a way for organizations to have containers and common language for what they’re experiencing as individuals and as a culture. Using “level 2, 5, and 6” in the following email exchange is a reference to those 7 Levels).
How do you get to that level (6?) of win-win? Meaning how do you not feel jealous or upset when others are succeeding?