Social media can be a breeding ground for drama, creating hurt, anger, and divisive conflict in relationships. Stephen Karpman, in his drama triangle, defines three actors in drama that breed destructive communication habits.
In the simplest form:
There are oppressors, or persecutors: “You idiots. You are to blame. I know more than you.”
There are rescuers: “Here, let me help you. I know what’s best for you.”
And there are victims: “Life is hard. This isn’t fair.” (complaining or venting)
The dynamics of this triangle create relationships that develop codependency (you know what’s right for me), compliance (sure, whatever you say), or resistance (get out of my face!).
When these actors in the drama show up, problems are perpetuated instead of solved.
To stay out of social media drama, consider these four tips: (more…)
After 18 years, my sister-in-law walked out of her drug-testing-athletes career forever. She along with others were terminated. No sports. No job.
Although she’s been jobless for three months, her attitude and outlook have been remarkable.
It donned on me that with a practical plan and action steps, a person doesn’t have to be a victim of their circumstances.
I’m veering away from my typical blogs posts to share this example of being “at the effect of life” but choosing not to set up camp there. Tension and stress are rising in the world, and feeling strapped for money adds to it. Here are three practical ways to use straps––the ole bootstraps––to move forward. (more…)
I saw a post that resonated that I haven’t been able to shake: “The World is Changing and I’m on the Transition Team.”
I feel a calling to add energy into the world that is not laced with fear, contempt, or anxiousness. Do I feel those things? Yes. And I also feel gratitude, hope, and a desire to grow deeper in love and wisdom than ever, and I want to contribute energy in those ways.(more…)
I hired someone to clean my house. Other than scheduling regular massages, this is the second best thing I’ve done for myself in the last three months.
Shame set up camp as the message that “I should be able keep up with everything and if I can’t, I’m somehow less of a mother, wife, or woman” condemned me.
And then it reared up again when I sought out help.
And now I’m OVER it!!!
Coming home to clean floors, smudge-free glass, and sparkly bathroom fixtures fills me with gratitude and peace! And I love paying another mom—who has a better knack at deep cleaning than me—to do it!
If you haven’t given yourself permission, it’s ok to build things into your life that help you, and that create happiness. It’s not selfish. You are not inept. It doesn’t make you less of a mom, wife, or person!
My only regret? That I didn’t do this sooner.
Reflect: What’s one of the best things you’ve done for yourself? What keeps you from doing more?
Rachel is a Certified Professional Coach with a Masters Degree in Counseling. She coaches professionals through important decisions and relationships so their minds are clear to move forward in life and in business.
I’ve been hearing this phrase come out of my mouth lately during coaching calls: There is so much right with you.
After this last time I heard it, I decided to sit with it.
There is so much right with you.
Because this phrase has surfaced, it means many people feel there is so much wrong with them. They don’t come out and say the words verbatim, but there is an underlying uncertainty of not doing enough….not doing it well…doing it incorrectly…or guilty of all of the above. (more…)