Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!
In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!
However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)
When asked how he carved his infamous statue of David, Michelangelo replied, “I just chipped away what wasn’t David.”
In the business of personal coaching, group coaching, and culture audits, our goal is similar: to help individuals and groups chip away what gets in the way of inherent possibility.
“There was time before you felt (insert limiting belief here),” I tell clients. “The You from that time is still inside.”
Then we proceed with the process of chipping marble–of chipping thinking, feeling, and doing. (more…)
I’m experiencing a pervasive inadequacy. This was the second line I wrote in an SOS email to a friend.
Are professionals supposed to confess stuff like this on a public blog? It’s risky, my ego tells me, but I feel I’m also risking something more dangerous if I don’t–a belief that when looking at the life of someone else, it always appears good, or at the very least, somehow better than yours. (more…)
Because I coach virtually from home, I hang a sign outside my office door to inform my family what time I’ll be out of a call. If it’s an emergency, they know to come in.
Recently, during a debrief with a new client, about 40 minutes into the call my son had an emergency. (more…)
For the past several months, I’ve been working with a guy who “reconsolidates memories.” He explained to me that over the course of our lives our experiences become memories with emotion attached. Some emotions feel good and some don’t.
Because of these experiences (turned memories), you and I come to accept a set of beliefs. Some beliefs are freeing, and some beliefs are limiting. (more…)
I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.
The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.
What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.
Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.
Here’s why… (more…)