For a person conditioned to be humble, accepting praise is uncomfortable. It’s met with downward looks, fidgety hands or feet, and a quick change of subject.
I wasn’t that great. You’re just being nice.
I coach many people who cannot take a compliment. They feel discomfort, or somehow think they don’t deserve it. “Oh, it’s not me,” they’ll say. However, if something has gone wrong, they’ll be the first one to speak up and say, “It was me! ME!” (Or at least it must’ve been, right?) (more…)
Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.
Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.
But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)
Our brains are designed to self-preserve. When commuting down a busy highway and a semi-truck pulls into our lane, we don’t have time to consider, “OK, I’m going to either slam on my brakes or swerve here…which would be most appropriate?” Our brains automatically make the decision and put our bodies into action. Thank goodness!
In a life-threatening situation, we want our limbic system to kick in, to “save me”!
However, the hang-up of this perfectly designed process shows up in situations or relationships that are not necessarily life-threatening––when adrenaline pours into the body similar to the semi-truck experience, creating stress without resolution over long periods of time. (more…)
When asked how he carved his infamous statue of David, Michelangelo replied, “I just chipped away what wasn’t David.”
In the business of personal coaching, group coaching, and culture audits, our goal is similar: to help individuals and groups chip away what gets in the way of inherent possibility.
“There was time before you felt (insert limiting belief here),” I tell clients. “The You from that time is still inside.”
Then we proceed with the process of chipping marble–of chipping thinking, feeling, and doing. (more…)
I’m experiencing a pervasive inadequacy. This was the second line I wrote in an SOS email to a friend.
Are professionals supposed to confess stuff like this on a public blog? It’s risky, my ego tells me, but I feel I’m also risking something more dangerous if I don’t–a belief that when looking at the life of someone else, it always appears good, or at the very least, somehow better than yours. (more…)
Because I coach virtually from home, I hang a sign outside my office door to inform my family what time I’ll be out of a call. If it’s an emergency, they know to come in.
Recently, during a debrief with a new client, about 40 minutes into the call my son had an emergency. (more…)