You matter. You make a difference. Be at peace and relaxed.

For the past several months, I’ve been working with a guy who “reconsolidates memories.” He explained to me that over the course of our lives our experiences become memories with emotion attached. Some emotions feel good and some don’t.

Because of these experiences (turned memories), you and I come to accept a set of beliefs. Some beliefs are freeing, and some beliefs are limiting. (more…)

A Square Peg in a Round Hole

“Because, Rachel, we’ve always done it this way.” This was the response I received recently after asking why an organization wouldn’t consider a new useful and efficient idea.

“If we let one person do it, then we’d have to let everyone do it.”

This rebuttal created instant relief in my mind: Awesome! If everyone was allowed to do this, they would save so much time!

But the door was shut and dead-bolted on the idea, and the-way-we-always-do-things prevailed.

At first I experienced frustration (a win-win isn’t going to be considered), then sadness (you’re pushing the envelope again, Rach, and not making any friends), then an insight (omg! This has been happening your whole life!).

I began to wonder how many square pegs, like me, have been trying to fit into round holes. (more…)

The Awkward Stage Between Birth and Death

Humanity takes stiff-legged wobbly steps in the form of fleshy bodies and falls, scrapes its knees, gets back up, and keeps exploring.

Nobody has life figured out.

The most influential leaders in history were closest as they pointed in the direction of love, compassion and forgiveness and opened the eyes of humanity to the dignity of one other.

But as soon as they draw us closer together, we pull ourselves apart. (more…)

Leading through the Ordinary

I haven’t felt inspired in a few weeks. Very little has moved me to greater effort, enthusiasm or creativity. A particular feeling hasn’t been awakened thats led to productive insight lately. Things have felt…ordinary.

So I didn’t write.

A subtle pressure slowly began building to produce meaningful and profound output. I didn’t feel on the cusp of any wow-factor material, and I didn’t want to sound like everybody else.

So I didn’t write. (more…)

You Don’t See Babies in Therapy

Before humans think things about themselves – before we’re self conscious – we’re just conscious. In that state, all is well. There’s no separation being created through our stories and interpretations of events. Instinct and intuition guide and direct.

Think of babies. All is well until it’s not, and they make it known. This isn’t done not by conscious thought but by instinct, and they tell without words. (more…)

What if “Adverse Childhood Experience” doesn’t fit?

Schools have been actively engaging in the conversation about the effects of trauma in childhood, and now Oprah is informing the nation. Awareness is rising. I’m thankful.

However, the thought that keeps creeping in my mind over the past couple of months has been what about the people who don’t meet the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experience) criteria but still feel depressed or anxious?

What happened to them? If a childhood was “normal” and needs were easily met, why are they hurting? (more…)

What part does Spirituality play in Professional Development?

I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.

The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.

What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.

Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.

Here’s why… (more…)