For a person conditioned to be humble, accepting praise is uncomfortable. It’s met with downward looks, fidgety hands or feet, and a quick change of subject.
I wasn’t that great. You’re just being nice.
I coach many people who cannot take a compliment. They feel discomfort, or somehow think they don’t deserve it. “Oh, it’s not me,” they’ll say. However, if something has gone wrong, they’ll be the first one to speak up and say, “It was me! ME!” (Or at least it must’ve been, right?) (more…)
Relationships require freedom to ebb and flow, and the best relationships have partners who know when being too positive will jam up the flow.
“How can being positive ruin anything?” you might be wondering.
If there’s too much positivity, without empathy, it can come across insensitive with an unwillingness to genuinely care. In the presence of empathy––according to Brene´ Brown––painful feelings don’t have a chance to survive.
So what does toxic positivity sound like? (more…)
“Get out of your comfort zone!” they say. “It’s where the
magic happens!” they say.
What “they” also fail to say is to expect feelings of dread, profuse sweat, loss of sleep at night, over or under prepping, and second-guess yourself…even days after you’ve penetrated those comfort zone walls.
You’ve probably gone through a time when you became preoccupied with thinking about how others are thinking about you.
When that happens, many of us don’t realize how decision-making is affected. Adaptive behaviors show up while trying to project or protect reputation, and making decisions are made through a couple of simple filters: “I’m okay” and “I’m not okay”.
Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.
Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.
But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)
You’re watching it happen––your tween is spending more time with friends, which means you’re losing time and attention to influence and mold your mini-me for their best interest.
Breath easy, mom and dad, you’re still making an impact on your adolescent, but it will take some conscious parenting on your part to keep the door of healthy communication open between the two you.
All in the name of love, parents can slip into two modes of communicating with kids that end up putting a wedge in the relationship.
Here are two roles to watch out for when communicating with your children:
Emotion is a touchy subject. It can be written off as too touchy-feely, it can get very personal, and it can create vulnerability that is uncomfortable.
The problem with underestimating emotion is that it is a significant determining factor of the behavior of colleagues, family members, and ourselves. It creates conflict we want to avoid, and behavior that brings us together. (more…)
Last week I flew to the west coast to attend a Marine graduation. Before that occasion, I knew little to nothing about the military. You know when you read something but your eyes just skim without making a connection?
From now on, the word Marine will forever stop me in my tracks.
What I learned about honor, courage, and commitment in two days made me hold my own shoulders back, put my chest out a bit, and walk taller. We could all learn from these Leather Necks. These Devil Dogs. These Marines with a capital M. (more…)