Most of us don’t talk about the worst things our inner critic says. Because of that, we don’t hear rebuttals or learn that other people – people we admire because they seem so confident – hear the same cruel and demanding voice in their heads, too.
The inner critic wants to protect us from embarrassment, failure, rejection, or pain, but its methods are counterproductive and irrational.
“You’ll never be as (smart, beautiful, talented, etc.) as so-and-so.” “Remember what you did last week? (Last year? Ten years ago?)” “Nobody will miss you if you’re gone.” “They’re all going to think you’re (insert worst fear here).”
While the inner critic believes it’s in your corner, it also creates insecurity. When this emotion shows up, so does blame. Something outside needs to change – my boss, my spouse, my kids, my co-workers, myself…
I’m feeling badly…something is wrong and needs to change.
But insecurity (catabolic emotion) isn’t wrong and doesn’t have to be changed, and confidence (anabolic emotion) comes and goes.