Years ago I sat outside in the dark on a curb with another woman who didn’t really want to go into the strip club either. In fact, none of the group (that I’m aware) had gone into one before, but it was a bachelorette party, so it seemed like the best time to let our hair down and do something memorable.
But I didn’t want to.
It wasn’t “me.”
So I sat on the curb that night and waited for the party to go on. (more…)
I’ve been hearing this phrase come out of my mouth lately during coaching calls: There is so much right with you.
After this last time I heard it, I decided to sit with it.
There is so much right with you.
Because this phrase has surfaced, it means many people feel there is so much wrong with them. They don’t come out and say the words verbatim, but there is an underlying uncertainty of not doing enough….not doing it well…doing it incorrectly…or guilty of all of the above. (more…)
You’ve seen the explosion of the coaching profession. Tennis players, poker champions, NBA athletes, CEOs, actors, and politicians have reported using coaches to advance their careers.
How do you find the right coach, and what can a coach do for you?
I’ve spent over 500 hours coaching professionals and hired a few coaches of my own a long the way. I believe in the benefits of a supportive and growth-oriented relationship––so much so that coaching will be the way I go out in this life, and I will seek a coach each time I want to personally and professionally expand into the next level. (more…)
For a person conditioned to be humble, accepting praise is uncomfortable. It’s met with downward looks, fidgety hands or feet, and a quick change of subject.
I wasn’t that great. You’re just being nice.
I coach many people who cannot take a compliment. They feel discomfort, or somehow think they don’t deserve it. “Oh, it’s not me,” they’ll say. However, if something has gone wrong, they’ll be the first one to speak up and say, “It was me! ME!” (Or at least it must’ve been, right?) (more…)
Relationships require freedom to ebb and flow, and the best relationships have partners who know when being too positive will jam up the flow.
“How can being positive ruin anything?” you might be wondering.
If there’s too much positivity, without empathy, it can come across insensitive with an unwillingness to genuinely care. In the presence of empathy––according to Brene´ Brown––painful feelings don’t have a chance to survive.
So what does toxic positivity sound like? (more…)
“Get out of your comfort zone!” they say. “It’s where the
magic happens!” they say.
What “they” also fail to say is to expect feelings of dread, profuse sweat, loss of sleep at night, over or under prepping, and second-guess yourself…even days after you’ve penetrated those comfort zone walls.
You’ve probably gone through a time when you became preoccupied with thinking about how others are thinking about you.
When that happens, many of us don’t realize how decision-making is affected. Adaptive behaviors show up while trying to project or protect reputation, and making decisions are made through a couple of simple filters: “I’m okay” and “I’m not okay”.
Although “seasons greetings” and “happy holidays” are buzzing right now, this time of year can feel subpar for many.
Desires are at an all time high and department stores don’t miss a beat feeding you full of reasons to buy this or that. The glamour of new purchases flirts with emotion, attaching a bigger-than-life fantasy that somehow buying something will magically lead to a greater state of happiness and satisfaction.
But you and I both know about the disappointment that comes after we’ve chased that thing and secured it. (more…)