The Nature of Confidence

Clinging to what is good and resisting what is bad is a guaranteed rollercoaster ride.

Trying to control people or circumstances to feel secure leads to more insecurity because confidence is not an external matter. As counterintuitive as it may seem, relinquishing the need for control unveils confidence.

Consider this: (more…)

You Don’t Know What “They’re” Thinking – So Stop Thinking You Do!

I’m charging right out of the gate here to just say, “You are making up stories in your head.”

How can I make such a claim? I’m aware of the stories because I’ve made them up myself. They think I don’t know what I’m talking about. See?

Let’s be honest, most of us are storytellers.

A conversation is happening in our head most of the day. Don Miguel Ruiz explains in The Voice of Knowledge, “We have a tendency to distort everything we perceive to make it agree with what we already believe; we “fix it” to make it agree with our lies.” (more…)

Don’t find Fault – Find a Remedy

imgres-1After trying to reconcile horrific recent local and world events this week, I believe I’ve found a remedy. Believe it or not, this doesn’t include a new president, or more laws, or the expectation for anyone else to swoop in and “make it all right”.

It’s actually an easy remedy…and a hard remedy.

The easy part? It starts with me. The hard part? It starts with me.

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One Solution to all your Problems!

imagesWant a quick fix to all your problems? Ask yourself this question:

How willing am I?

This answer to this question is the awareness you’ll need to move beyond your “problems” into solution-oriented living.

How willing am I to see this situation differently?

How willing am I to consider another point of view? Am I willing to heal? To move on? To fail? How willing am I to truly succeed?

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Why to avoid “How are you?”

7650804342_9715bb425fI think we should stop asking “how are you” unless we’re actually interested.

Think about it – how often is it used without ever really sticking around in the conversation long enough to fully know how someone truly is?

This phrase keeps us playing roles. One role, for example, is “I’m friendly and polite,” and the other role is “I won’t expose what I’m really thinking or feeling inside.” Most of us have really only learned how to make nice with one another – keeping our happy masks on.

It makes sense. For one, the discomfort of hearing someone’s sad or angry or dramatic story makes the generic “how are you” role comfortable. For two, it’s just not that socially acceptable to really be that vulnerable with people. Right? (more…)