What if “Adverse Childhood Experience” doesn’t fit?

Schools have been actively engaging in the conversation about the effects of trauma in childhood, and now Oprah is informing the nation. Awareness is rising. I’m thankful.

However, the thought that keeps creeping in my mind over the past couple of months has been what about the people who don’t meet the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experience) criteria but still feel depressed or anxious?

What happened to them? If a childhood was “normal” and needs were easily met, why are they hurting? (more…)

The Nature of Confidence

Clinging to what is good and resisting what is bad is a guaranteed rollercoaster ride.

Trying to control people or circumstances to feel secure leads to more insecurity because confidence is not an external matter. As counterintuitive as it may seem, relinquishing the need for control unveils confidence.

Consider this: (more…)

Insecurity and Confidence

“I feel badly, so something needs to change.” Feeling undesirable emotion like insecurity, fear, or anger leads to this common misunderstanding that creates havoc.

In an effort to feel better, blame surfaces. There is a problem “out there” that needs changed. It is the fault of my spouse, my kids, that system, my boss, the weather, myself…

Now there are problems to be solved and issues to be fixed. (more…)

What’s the Truth?

The power of awareness changes our wellbeing.   –Dr. Dan Siegel

For the last year we’ve been dog owners, and every night, whoever is the last one upstairs puts the dog in his kennel for the night.

Every time my daughter puts him to bed, she comes downstairs to her own bed feeling badly.

“Oh mama…Zip looked so sad,” she laments, “his tail stopped wagging and he looked at me with big sad eyes.”

“How do you know he’s sad, babe? Maybe he’s relieved to be going to bed?” (more…)