Stay Awake! 3 Ways to Transform Pain into Power

My blood pressure was 144 over 95. I felt anxious. I have a knack for appearing composed, but my heart always rats me out.

I was in and out of outpatient care in 90 minutes for a three-minute procedure that required fasting the day before. Only clear liquids for 24 hours and then nothing the morning of. Fasting aided in mental preparation for the experience because I planned to opt out of anesthesia.

I wanted to be fully conscious.

(more…)

You’re Not Special: What to do when you Find Out

like-mindedYou’re not special, but you are unique. This was the opening line in an email a few weeks ago that first made my stomach sink and now makes my spirit soar.

Feeling significant and worthy is a common human need. Religion, consumerism, and achievement all speak to the hole in humanity that everyone knows exists, but most keep hidden. Shh, that hole is a secret. I don’t want it exposed. It might make me look weak, and God knows it’ll make me feel vulnerable.

(more…)

4 Ways to Impact your Relationships at Work

happyfriendsRelationships are the core of culture and the foundation in families.

Intentionally building relationships impacts overall satisfaction in life. Any leader will tell you that if this pillar isn’t in place, it eventually becomes a source of frustration and stress.

Here are four ways to impact your relationships:

1. Don’t take things personally

There’s a lot of freedom that comes when we stop taking things personally. What another says is more about him or her than it is about you. To build a bonding relational bridge, listen to the story another shares, but listen mostly to HOW they’re saying it. It’s about THEM. Don’t make it about you. (more…)

Why being Disliked is Liberating

likeYou want people to like you. You do.

I mean for real, down deep who doesn’t.

Having nice things or looking attractive is an attempt to be liked. Or maybe saying yes to everything you’re asked to do is another. Appearing highly successful or talented or cool are other avenues.

Something inside you doesn’t stay as true as you’d prefer, but to secure acceptance it feels like a little give here and there isn’t that big of a deal. (more…)

How does Conditioned Communication affect your Relationships?

seal-326159_960_720 “You’d have popular hair in the 80s.”

These seven words were an instant trigger when my husband said them after I’d let my hair go all nat-u-ral one morning.

For 30 years I’ve fought my naturally curly hair with straightening shampoos, gobs of hair product, and a flat iron. To say the least, I prefer anti big hair.

“That was a back-handed thing to say,” I said.

Naturally I was talking out of 30 years of non-acceptance for my DNA, and at the same time he was talking out of 30 years of speaking with metaphor rather than just saying what he really meant. (more…)