I was recently asked about my religious affiliation during an interview by a potential client.
The question stunned me for a second, and I didn’t know how to respond. For me, religious affiliation is irrelevant in coaching.
What I’ve learned over the past four years is that as soon as a person throws out a word to identify “what I am,” preconceived ideas flourish and then labeling, categorizing and compartmentalizing happens in a split second.
Because of that observation, I based my coaching practice on being as open and impersonal as possible.
Here’s why… (more…)
Clinging to what is good and resisting what is bad is a guaranteed rollercoaster ride.
Trying to control people or circumstances to feel secure leads to more insecurity because confidence is not an external matter. As counterintuitive as it may seem, relinquishing the need for control unveils confidence.
Consider this: (more…)
The pursuit of happiness creates continual strife to secure it.
Many try to secure the emotion by purchasing items, getting into new relationships, altering the body, or striving for affirmation and accolades.
If one of these behaviors finally secured happiness, what was lost would be found forever and nothing would spur the pursuit again.
But this is not the case.
Most of us don’t talk about the worst things our inner critic says. Because of that, we don’t hear rebuttals or learn that other people – people we admire because they seem so confident – hear the same cruel and demanding voice in their heads, too.
The inner critic wants to protect us from embarrassment, failure, rejection, or pain, but its methods are counterproductive and irrational.
“I feel badly, so something needs to change.” Feeling undesirable emotion like insecurity, fear, or anger leads to this common misunderstanding that creates havoc.
In an effort to feel better, blame surfaces. There is a problem “out there” that needs changed. It is the fault of my spouse, my kids, that system, my boss, the weather, myself…
Now there are problems to be solved and issues to be fixed. (more…)
A common theme among high-achievers revolves around something Oprah said, “Most people are living their lives as if the destination is what it’s all about.”
Gotta get that thing, arrive at that place, achieve the outcome or goal. Once I meet “the one,” then… Once I win the championship or award, then… When I have washboard abs, then… When I have more money, then…
When A is complete, then there becomes a B…which inevitably becomes A again. It’s like a dog chasing its tail. (more…)
The power of awareness changes our wellbeing. –Dr. Dan Siegel
For the last year we’ve been dog owners, and every night, whoever is the last one upstairs puts the dog in his kennel for the night.
Every time my daughter puts him to bed, she comes downstairs to her own bed feeling badly.
“Oh mama…Zip looked so sad,” she laments, “his tail stopped wagging and he looked at me with big sad eyes.”
“How do you know he’s sad, babe? Maybe he’s relieved to be going to bed?” (more…)
People talk at 125-225 words per minute on average and can think 4x faster.
That means roughly having 500-900 thoughts per minute. So in one hour, the average person would have about 30,000-60,000 internal thoughts.
If you like the math, in just an 8-hour workday that’s about 240,000-480,000 thoughts. All in your head. And that’s not including the ones that you actually turn into audible words or the ones that occur during the rest of your waking moments.
But have you ever really stopped to think about what you’re thinking about?