In 1964 Simon & Garfunkel brought awareness to the sound of silence. In their musical rendition, it was the loudness of silence that caught their attention: no one dared disturb the sound of silence.
In 2017, however, there is a bombardment of noise in which silence could now be a coveted answer.
Noise is perpetuating the inability to concentrate, create, and communicate in a way that promotes community. Everyone has a private opinion which can now be aired publically.
Why make time for silence? (more…)
What is the last thing your loving and compassionate inner voice has spoken to you?
What? Wait. You mean there’s an inner voice that does more than point out all the ways I’m not stacking up?
That’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s very loving, in fact. It doesn’t say things to produce counterfeit confidence to puff us up to project an image, and it doesn’t say things that are harsh either.
Hearing your loving and compassionate inner voice is an essential practice for developing one of the most important communication skills: LISTENING. (more…)
You know when your study of the brain has peaked when you hug your loved ones and say “oxytocin” instead of “I love you.” –Rachel Thalmann
The brain is an amazing machine, and I’ve noticed the more that people understand the way in which it works, the more in control of themselves they feel.
I was nine the first time I skied down a mountain. I learned to snow plow – to point my toes together and put pressure on the inside edges of both skies to control my speed. This method works for beginners, particularly children. It worked again when I was 13, and kinda worked when I was 30, and by last year at 38, I wanted to learn a new way to be on skis. So this year I did…and it came with navigating myself more than navigating a mountain. (more…)
You can’t fake compassion.
I mean, you can, but people feel it when you do. Disingenuous concern comes across as canned.
If meaningful connection and communication are to happen, empathy and compassion have to be real. “Me” and “You” become “We” and “Us”.
In his book Mindsight, Dr Siegel states that “feeling felt” is essential early in life as children gain insight into the vast inner sea inside them, but throughout life we continue to need such connections for a sense of vitality and wellbeing.
Vitality and wellbeing come with deep connections.
In a deeply divisive world today, bringing human beings closer to one another is vital.
There are crucial steps to increasing empathy. (more…)
Begin an office romance! Start a love affair! Set your passion in motion!
Woah, wait. What?
Google tells me that romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. So, yes, I want to begin an office romance. And while I’m at, I’m going to begin a home, wellness center, grocery store, bank and traffic romance, too.
Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book The Voice of Knowledge, says, “How do you know when you’ve mastered love? When the story you tell is an on-going romance.”
At some point it seems romance for life begins to fade somewhere between paying utility bills and heath insurance premiums. It can fade after too many political debates, a mind-numbing television show (or five), or being disappointed in the image in your mirror. (more…)
I’m charging right out of the gate here to just say, “You are making up stories in your head.”
How can I make such a claim? I’m aware of the stories because I’ve made them up myself. They think I don’t know what I’m talking about. See?
Let’s be honest, most of us are storytellers.
A conversation is happening in our head most of the day. Don Miguel Ruiz explains in The Voice of Knowledge, “We have a tendency to distort everything we perceive to make it agree with what we already believe; we “fix it” to make it agree with our lies.” (more…)
No matter whom I’ve coached, there is always one constant: at some point we talk about a relationship.
This makes sense – we’re wired for connection. So when a connection feels strained with a colleague, spouse, child, parent, or friend, it can hold our attention hostage, leaving less space to engage elsewhere.
When you find yourself a part of strained relationship, consider four steps to reconnect and repair it going forward: (more…)
My blood pressure was 144 over 95. I felt anxious. I have a knack for appearing composed, but my heart always rats me out.
I was in and out of outpatient care in 90 minutes for a three-minute procedure that required fasting the day before. Only clear liquids for 24 hours and then nothing the morning of. Fasting aided in mental preparation for the experience because I planned to opt out of anesthesia.
I wanted to be fully conscious.